Trauma and
Complex Trauma
Trauma is a much-used word, for which there are very many definitions. We might experience a once-off event, like a car crash, a mugging, rape or another form of abuse - which leaves us feeling disconnected from ourselves, or living with fear, anxiety, depression, flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, shame, and diminished self-worth.
In other instances, we might have experienced trauma as an ongoing situation. For example, domestic violence, poverty, racism, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, or growing up in a family system where there was addiction, separation, neglect, mental illness, suicide, and loss.
Such events can impact us in a variety of ways, particularly if we experienced them as children. They can shape how we feel about ourselves, how we feel in relationships, and how we make our way through the world. We might find it hard to trust ourselves and others. We might find that being anxious, fearful, and depressed is the norm for us. We might find it hard to feel anything at all. We might use alcohol, work, sex, or addictive substances to help us cope. We might struggle to be in healthy relationships.
As a therapist, my approach to trauma work is built on a foundation of respect. Whatever way we have learnt to survive, however unhelpful our survival strategies may seem to the outside world, these strategies deserve to be respected and understood. For example, you may find it hard to set boundaries and express your needs, because in the past saying “no” or asking for what you needed resulted in punishment, dismissal, or rejection.
In therapy, we will learn to recognise how things like not speaking, not needing, people-pleasing, or avoiding may have helped you to stay safe in an environment or situation that was inherently unsafe. We work with your survival strategies and defensive mechanisms, not against them. We aim to understand why and how you survived, and explore whether there may be other ways of doing things from a current place of safety and stability.
Trauma work is by its nature slow, which can feel frustrating for some clients. But it can also be empowering, creative, and exciting. By approaching this work with kindness and compassion, I hope to help you realise your resilience and strength, and to access self-esteem, self-love and autonomy.
